tired resolution.

I have resisted writing a blog that engaged in the "Kony 2012" debate as I knew that I had such an emotional reaction towards people's cynicism and negativity, and was challenged to re-examine my own thoughts about 'Invisible Children' and why I have supported them for 5 years or so.

Watching the CEO crumble under stress, was heartbreaking. To know that someone who had personally and emotionally engaged in the conflict, with best intentions, get slammed - was saddening. 

I have questioned how I best want to fight injustice - I have tossed between what it means to do 'humanitarian' work - without arms or with arms. I have questioned how we fight terror and what ways is appropriate... is advocacy just words in the air - or is it effective. Over the years I have watched how Invisible Children has impacted global leaders and been amazing at progress and changed my perspective to see how advocacy can really produce change. At the same time, I want to consider what kind of change I support. 

I don't agree with a 'hero complex' but is that what they are doing? It seems being 'white' makes it so that you're eurocentric all the time. I feel a burden myself for just having white-coloured-skin that comes with privilege and wealth. Sometimes I wish I could change my identity to make my words or actions gain some validity and show sincerity. 

I really liked how the author of this article summed up her perspective on Invisible Children and Kony 2012, the author seemed to be working through the same struggles I feel I have been with questioning and challenging our perspectives on humanitarian pursuits.

If anything the criticisms and the affirmation of Invisible Children and how they are combatting the LRA war in 4 african countries - makes me re-evaluate development, justice, humanitarian efforts, aid, advocacy and my place in it all.

I am at a stage where I have not come to a conclusion as how I best fit into the debate, as I can recognise both sides of the coin and feel both perspectives are valid. How to act when fighting social injustice is so complex and has a variety of different consequences that a 'one-size-fits-all' umbrella is ridiculous.  The fact Invisible Children has produced a world-wide discussion on social justice is no small feat and i applaud them for bringing such things to light. 

cute voice

A new song my auntie introduced me too - and i think it's so cute :)

Tybee Island & Savannah - Georgia

I'm surprised its only been a week - as so much has happened since I've been here! I'm currently sitting in a small cafe on a couch sipping hot chocolate (though yet to have lunch and its 2pm - should get onto that). I'm also wearing a new grey hat i bought with blue stitching and a cute flower - i love it! 

Last wednesday, Sarah and a bunch of her friends and I all went down to Tybee Island near Savannah, Georgia. We stayed in a cozy little wooden cabin and had a campfire almost every night :) We spent most of the first day at the beach and we all got lovely tans (and some burns)! I went for a lovely run along the beach, however injured my foot from the hard sand... so was wobbling the rest of the trip haha. 

We had a lovely day walking around cobbled-stoned streets in Savannah which had so much history! Every street corner seemed to have a beautiful green park with monuments or fountains. We walked into cute cafes, clothes stores, op shops, and honey makin stores. We also went to a huge church which blew me away, as it had blue marbled pillars and huge ceilings. I had to catch my breathe and mediated in the pews, so nice! 

I spent a large amount of time reading a book that my workmates gave me "God of small things" by an Indian philosopher and it kept me enraptured the whole trip. 

To describe my thought patterns and experience i guess i could say it as 'a slowly winding down clock'. I feel my life in Canberra was soo fast pace and i hadn't had much time to think about life and what i wanted for the future. The last week or so has been nice to grab some time to stop and think about things, and just have time to write and journal. 

I have been challenged in my perspectives on God and Justice as well as what it means to be open about my struggles or hurts. My family are very big on 'grace' (meaning God's unmerited favour upon us). And so i've been trying to learn that my 'negative thoughts' of the past should not hold a grip on me due to being forgiven. This is very freeing - but i'm still learning how to understand this fully. 

A shrimp boil

A taste of the USA

Landed in LA and was swept through customs speedily (compared to non-citizens... hehe) so was relieved. Had jokes about "throwin' shrimps on the barbie" and had a few laughs. Then walked to the left escalator and was confronted by stairs rolling down... paused confused and then moved to the right laughing. 

Rapid Mobile Re-charger

They have 're-charge mobile phone' booths - saved my life! Stick your phone into the charger and voila - phone charged $3. We need this in Australia (for those that have experienced me hang up on you due to 'no battery' you would agree!) 

Got on the plane to hear the announcement "Excuse me ladies and gentleman, we currently do not have a pilot, we're trying to sort this out as soon as possible will let you know"... an hour later a pilot arrives. sigh. (glad my phone was charged). They also had cheeseburgers as a choice for food with the other option being thai salad... crazy!

Biscuits and gravy
Mine was like this but with double the gravy!

They have a lot of 'diners' here. You can sit at the 'bar' area and drink coffee and eat food, i realised it was similar to american tv shows ... just never commuted how strange it felt.

So this morning we went to one for breakfast and I had a taste of 'biscuits and gravy' - which are similar to scones but more cakey and the gravey was white - i thought it might have been mushroom sauce, but apparently its 'sausage gravy'? Interesting - definitely a cultural experience haha. 

God bless America - Psalm  118:24

Drank a 'peanut butter and banana' milkshake - AMAZING - and on the cup it stated "God bless America, Psalm 118:24". Verses of the Bible on Take-away cups now that's new (and awesome haha). 

I met up with my cousin that just got back from NYC. You can take a 'mega-bus' from Tennessee to NY for $1-5?!?! Can you believe that? Cheap travel all the way! 

We met up with some of Marko and Sarah's friends and took a walk in the "bush" (they called it a 'park' but i was thinking playground and they were thinking 'national park') or woods and located some places to go caving, which would be great fun. We explored an old quarry with no water in it - and ate fruit and veges in the shade :)

Then tonight we had a family dinner so all the priestley's (my fam) and partners were together and we sat around the fire and chatted about politics, love, and guns.... haha. My cousin Marko is trying to convince me to go to the shooting range - while im curious - i really feel its something i would abhor, haha.

But so far i've felt really comfortable - my bed is SO SOFT! I'm glad to have time to just hang out with family and have chats in the car and in cafes.

Marko and Sarah Priestley

I watched 'Machine Gun Preacher' the other night. It touched on issues close to my heart - the war going on in 4 countries in Africa due to the Lord's Resistance Army' War . If you ever want to watch a powerful movie... that exposes you to some of the brutality that is going on - this is a good one. It also shows how we're not meant to just sit on our but and indulge in luxury - but make change. It may be controversial in how he does it (ie. shooting) but for me - he's saving children's lives!

Too many goodbye’s…. and I’m exhausted!

A farewell from Team GA - gonna miss you guys!

I had my farewell this weekend, w close friends coming to chat, eat brownies ‘n choc-caramel slice, and avoid getting drenched by the rain. It made me realise how much I’m going to miss home, especially the thought of never returning to cozy lil’ Canberra (my life for the last 23 yrs). 

I also have had farewell from my GA Soccer squad and we had team photos and they gave me a signed soccer ball. I feel famous! I’m going to miss my work – especially the people! I’ve had fun with the social club shenanigans… not to mention the many chats at the café that has allured me to into a strict coffee addiction.

Tomorrow is my last day, and I’m having another farewell morning tea – if I can bear it, and then farewell from church on Sunday… and then I should be right to have said goodbye to most people here… epic?!

A week to go and fly out of here…

Thanks for all your kind encouragement and support! I really could not have made this decision without you. You are all more than welcome to visit me along my travels!

Love you Aussies!!! Keep in touch!!

packing up...

I had a crazy night last night. I have to pack up my room to move into a smaller room in my house. I told them I was ‘moving out’ in December so technically I still have to move out of my room so my other housemate can move in and get settled.

So, I just sold my desks and gave away my bed and bookshelves. And all of a sudden, as I packed my books in boxes – the realisation hit – I’m leaving and when I come back I may have nothing and be dirt poor. Travelling is not cheap.

So while I’m having a sook about losing my possessions… the words of Jesus entered my head “If you wish to be complete, go and sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me."

It shook me. As I desire to help the poor to help those suffering from injustice. And yet, I had got caught up in trying to hold onto things and have a ‘safety net’ to fall back on. I don’t want to live in comfort or have a safety net – but trust God that he will provide for all my needs. This is really hard!

I realised as well, I’ll be coming back to Australia after spending 3 months in India – and my mindset will *hopefully* be completely different anyway – so to come back to ‘wealth’ is going to be a massive shock to the system anyway.

It is still very overwhelming. I’m starting to make decisions on my own for what to do in the future, and the possibility of me slipping up seems quite high!

I admire my friend Sam – who packed up her things and left for England – found a job and is quite content with no massive worries. I need to just trust God and hope for the best.

I’m going to miss my friends – so I hope you keep in contact and remember to write letters or emails! I think the lack of ‘constant flow’ of friends visiting and going out is going to be weird. Hopefully – I’ll make some new ones in the US and India….

Unsettling.