I had a crazy night last night. I have to pack up my room to move into a smaller room in my house. I told them I was ‘moving out’ in December so technically I still have to move out of my room so my other housemate can move in and get settled.
So, I just sold my desks and gave away my bed and bookshelves. And all of a sudden, as I packed my books in boxes – the realisation hit – I’m leaving and when I come back I may have nothing and be dirt poor. Travelling is not cheap. So while I’m having a sook about losing my possessions… the words of Jesus entered my head “If you wish to be complete, go and sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me."
It shook me. As I desire to help the poor to help those suffering from injustice. And yet, I had got caught up in trying to hold onto things and have a ‘safety net’ to fall back on. I don’t want to live in comfort or have a safety net – but trust God that he will provide for all my needs. This is really hard!
I realised as well, I’ll be coming back to Australia after spending 3 months in India – and my mindset will *hopefully* be completely different anyway – so to come back to ‘wealth’ is going to be a massive shock to the system anyway.
It is still very overwhelming. I’m starting to make decisions on my own for what to do in the future, and the possibility of me slipping up seems quite high!
I admire my friend Sam – who packed up her things and left for England – found a job and is quite content with no massive worries. I need to just trust God and hope for the best.
I’m going to miss my friends – so I hope you keep in contact and remember to write letters or emails! I think the lack of ‘constant flow’ of friends visiting and going out is going to be weird. Hopefully – I’ll make some new ones in the US and India….
Unsettling.
