Another year over - BAM! Last January - planning my trip around the world, this January - buying tickets home. Yes maam, I am coming home! 

In recent weeks I have sunk back inside myself and found escape in books and sleep. Home sickness has gotten to me quite a bit. It sneaks up on me through tiredness and introvertedness. To think I sometimes prefer my own company? News flash! 

Tho, it dawned on me the other day that even "home" (as how I remember it) is going to be very different. Friends are dispersing to Syd and Melb, and apparently Weston Creek has developed (What the...?!). I can't stand change (I'm realising this a lot while travelling). I find myself fighting against having to adopt something different (ie. southern gun culture). Looking forward to relaxing to some familiar cups of milos, aussie slang and seeing the gum trees & kangas again. To think, I miss the 'sunburned country'!

What this year is going to bring is uncertain. Job? Location? Who knows! Last year brought a lot of surprises, both good and bad. Meeting a wonderful guy, while also losing one tragically. I'm learning slowly about how to manage the highs and lows of life. That my emotions should not be dictated by circumstances but my joy should be in God and the multiple blessings I have. I need to live with some uncertainties and just trust God knows what he's doing and will lead me. 

I've also found this trip revitalising. I've been able to let go of past experiences and find myself capable of forgiving. It's nice to experience life afresh, have an opportunity to change without memories or people pinning me down. New voices in my life really helped me to see things differently and to see where my weaknesses lay, and how I need to change them. To stop for a minute, and have time to reflect without a constant barrage of social activity - has been quite beneficial.

This trip has shown me my limits - how travelling constantly takes its toll on me out and I need to remember to touch base with friends and home more. I also struggle with stepping out enough and exploring - despite the fact I've been to 3 different countries on this trip. It's crazy when you challenge your comfort zones how even though you desire to step out you also fight against it. 

Anyway, cheers to a new year! Look forward to seeing most of you soon! 

Oh, How I miss you. 

my time with the poms...

Our Cute Lil' Rental Car!

Am sitting in heathrow airport after 3 weeks in rainy England. I actually enjoyed it a lot more than I was expecting, and had some interesting experiences going down country lanes where you had to manoeuvre past cars on a one lane road with hedges reaching to the skies.

In the gardens outside of Warwick Castle!

I particularly enjoyed meeting up with my two friends, Sam and then Iggy. I saw a lot of the country side with them. We went to Bath and checked out the Roman Baths - and got swooped back to ancient times. I explored old heritage listed houses and got dressed up in old English dresses and sat daintily on cute oval window sills and extremely old couches. It was an experience to see a castle and go into the dungeons that smelt of urine and have actors jump out from behind walls and spook you out! but all in good fun!

Having lunch at a English pub! 

I enjoyed particularly going to the English pubs, and eating excellent meals like roasted duck, seafood platters, and roasted chicken. They were delicious and I enjoyed a good English beer with it. I was surprised at how nice they all were - nothing like the Aussie pubs we have back home where you just get deeply fried chips and a beer and that'll do just fine.

I met a lot of English lasses and lads over cups of teas in lounge-rooms, eating pudding (which is pretty much just dessert) and laughing at phrases like "you alrigh'?" and "innit".

London was incredible with all the large old buildings, and large parks marked with geese and squirrels. I did enjoy spending most of my time eating picnic foods like cheese and crackers, dips and wine. And seeing the whole view of England while twirling around on swings high in the sky!

lost for words

why is it that writing a blog is so daunting. the feeling to 'be creative' and 'inspire people' while updating them on your life.

this daunting nature prevents you from being impulsive, expressive and just writing.

i stopped writing on this when my close friend died in a tragic bike accident. i did not know what to say. how to say it. how to express my hurt. how to show gratitude to him and his life lived. i started numerous blogs, which are all sitting in my draft folder waiting to be recaptured and completed.

so unfortunately i'm realising... i can't really express it.. (yet). i loved my friend... full stop. i miss him. and it hurts. as for what else to say, i'm at a loss and really don't feel anything i say is good enough to express how awesome a guy he was, to me, and others.

i know one day in the future, i hope that i will be able to write it all down. for now... i can't.

Friends, Frisbee, Food and Fun

What an amazingly-fun easter weekend!! I honestly couldn't think of a better way to spend easter than with the people i met and spent with in Charleston (South Carolina).

We left midday on Friday and didn't reach the hostel until 10pm that night - so it was a long drive (due to road detours) - but we sang & danced to fun music and had deep convos the whole way :) so the time was well spent.

that night we went out and explored the streets. we ended up at a park with old canons, fountains, large trees, and a gazebo which was surrounded by a dark bay. we met up with the other crowd going, and i ended up dashing through a fountain and getting drenched but it was worth it for the chilly laughs and screams of delight.

the city was decorated with old buildings with quaint architecture and we walked down cobble-stoned streets. it was fun to pier into huge houses with chandeliers and cute green courtyards. i marveled at what it would have been like to live in these places back in the day.

the next day, we went to a cute little restaurant  called "hominy" (which i originally thought Morgan was saying "harmony", and so was confused why he kept dropping the 'R's' - americans tend to want to mimic me, hehe). i ordered earl grey tea with banana and walnut pancakes. it was delightful. i also tried grits (and not sure im a big fan!).

that afternoon we walked to the Charleston city market and i heard about significant slavery that happened within this city from tour horse carriages passing by (i stalked them from the sidewalk). we also headed into a block lego store, where you could make your own buildings, fun! once we got to the markets i noticed stalls that sold flowers and baskets made out of sweetgrass, artwork, jewelry, local souvenirs, food, and wooden crafts.

then it was the beach - we played frisbee, went swimming in warm water w harsh currents, sun baked while sand blew in our faces, and i read philosophy with Marko, walked on the pier and past a dance party on the beach!!

that night we went to a seafood restaurant where i sipped white wine and ate coconut shrimp... it was delightful and i heard people's testimonies on how God has worked in their lives, and laughed about a variety of different things.. all in all a good night. when we got back i met an aussie at the hostel who i thought sounded extremely ocka but they apparently sound very much like me (they were from canberra too - boys grammar... mmmm haha) so bizarre!

the next morning i got up for the sunrise easter service and watched as the sun rose over the water as they spoke of how Jesus rose from the dead... it was amazing to watch, and so moving! I wish i'd captured it, but alas had sleepily forgotten my camera.

the rest of the day was chilled with me sleepin on the beach, and enjoying a nice car ride home with  great company...

an encouraging verse

Psalm 72:4, 12-14

"He will defend the afflicted among the people and save the children of the needy; he will crush the oppressor.... he will deliver the needy who cry out, the afflicted who have no one to help. He will take pity on the weak and the needy and save the needy from death. He will rescue them from oppression and violence, for precious is their blood in his sight."

tired resolution.

I have resisted writing a blog that engaged in the "Kony 2012" debate as I knew that I had such an emotional reaction towards people's cynicism and negativity, and was challenged to re-examine my own thoughts about 'Invisible Children' and why I have supported them for 5 years or so.

Watching the CEO crumble under stress, was heartbreaking. To know that someone who had personally and emotionally engaged in the conflict, with best intentions, get slammed - was saddening. 

I have questioned how I best want to fight injustice - I have tossed between what it means to do 'humanitarian' work - without arms or with arms. I have questioned how we fight terror and what ways is appropriate... is advocacy just words in the air - or is it effective. Over the years I have watched how Invisible Children has impacted global leaders and been amazing at progress and changed my perspective to see how advocacy can really produce change. At the same time, I want to consider what kind of change I support. 

I don't agree with a 'hero complex' but is that what they are doing? It seems being 'white' makes it so that you're eurocentric all the time. I feel a burden myself for just having white-coloured-skin that comes with privilege and wealth. Sometimes I wish I could change my identity to make my words or actions gain some validity and show sincerity. 

I really liked how the author of this article summed up her perspective on Invisible Children and Kony 2012, the author seemed to be working through the same struggles I feel I have been with questioning and challenging our perspectives on humanitarian pursuits.

If anything the criticisms and the affirmation of Invisible Children and how they are combatting the LRA war in 4 african countries - makes me re-evaluate development, justice, humanitarian efforts, aid, advocacy and my place in it all.

I am at a stage where I have not come to a conclusion as how I best fit into the debate, as I can recognise both sides of the coin and feel both perspectives are valid. How to act when fighting social injustice is so complex and has a variety of different consequences that a 'one-size-fits-all' umbrella is ridiculous.  The fact Invisible Children has produced a world-wide discussion on social justice is no small feat and i applaud them for bringing such things to light. 

cute voice

A new song my auntie introduced me too - and i think it's so cute :)

Tybee Island & Savannah - Georgia

I'm surprised its only been a week - as so much has happened since I've been here! I'm currently sitting in a small cafe on a couch sipping hot chocolate (though yet to have lunch and its 2pm - should get onto that). I'm also wearing a new grey hat i bought with blue stitching and a cute flower - i love it! 

Last wednesday, Sarah and a bunch of her friends and I all went down to Tybee Island near Savannah, Georgia. We stayed in a cozy little wooden cabin and had a campfire almost every night :) We spent most of the first day at the beach and we all got lovely tans (and some burns)! I went for a lovely run along the beach, however injured my foot from the hard sand... so was wobbling the rest of the trip haha. 

We had a lovely day walking around cobbled-stoned streets in Savannah which had so much history! Every street corner seemed to have a beautiful green park with monuments or fountains. We walked into cute cafes, clothes stores, op shops, and honey makin stores. We also went to a huge church which blew me away, as it had blue marbled pillars and huge ceilings. I had to catch my breathe and mediated in the pews, so nice! 

I spent a large amount of time reading a book that my workmates gave me "God of small things" by an Indian philosopher and it kept me enraptured the whole trip. 

To describe my thought patterns and experience i guess i could say it as 'a slowly winding down clock'. I feel my life in Canberra was soo fast pace and i hadn't had much time to think about life and what i wanted for the future. The last week or so has been nice to grab some time to stop and think about things, and just have time to write and journal. 

I have been challenged in my perspectives on God and Justice as well as what it means to be open about my struggles or hurts. My family are very big on 'grace' (meaning God's unmerited favour upon us). And so i've been trying to learn that my 'negative thoughts' of the past should not hold a grip on me due to being forgiven. This is very freeing - but i'm still learning how to understand this fully. 

A shrimp boil

A taste of the USA

Landed in LA and was swept through customs speedily (compared to non-citizens... hehe) so was relieved. Had jokes about "throwin' shrimps on the barbie" and had a few laughs. Then walked to the left escalator and was confronted by stairs rolling down... paused confused and then moved to the right laughing. 

Rapid Mobile Re-charger

They have 're-charge mobile phone' booths - saved my life! Stick your phone into the charger and voila - phone charged $3. We need this in Australia (for those that have experienced me hang up on you due to 'no battery' you would agree!) 

Got on the plane to hear the announcement "Excuse me ladies and gentleman, we currently do not have a pilot, we're trying to sort this out as soon as possible will let you know"... an hour later a pilot arrives. sigh. (glad my phone was charged). They also had cheeseburgers as a choice for food with the other option being thai salad... crazy!

Biscuits and gravy
Mine was like this but with double the gravy!

They have a lot of 'diners' here. You can sit at the 'bar' area and drink coffee and eat food, i realised it was similar to american tv shows ... just never commuted how strange it felt.

So this morning we went to one for breakfast and I had a taste of 'biscuits and gravy' - which are similar to scones but more cakey and the gravey was white - i thought it might have been mushroom sauce, but apparently its 'sausage gravy'? Interesting - definitely a cultural experience haha. 

God bless America - Psalm  118:24

Drank a 'peanut butter and banana' milkshake - AMAZING - and on the cup it stated "God bless America, Psalm 118:24". Verses of the Bible on Take-away cups now that's new (and awesome haha). 

I met up with my cousin that just got back from NYC. You can take a 'mega-bus' from Tennessee to NY for $1-5?!?! Can you believe that? Cheap travel all the way! 

We met up with some of Marko and Sarah's friends and took a walk in the "bush" (they called it a 'park' but i was thinking playground and they were thinking 'national park') or woods and located some places to go caving, which would be great fun. We explored an old quarry with no water in it - and ate fruit and veges in the shade :)

Then tonight we had a family dinner so all the priestley's (my fam) and partners were together and we sat around the fire and chatted about politics, love, and guns.... haha. My cousin Marko is trying to convince me to go to the shooting range - while im curious - i really feel its something i would abhor, haha.

But so far i've felt really comfortable - my bed is SO SOFT! I'm glad to have time to just hang out with family and have chats in the car and in cafes.

Marko and Sarah Priestley

I watched 'Machine Gun Preacher' the other night. It touched on issues close to my heart - the war going on in 4 countries in Africa due to the Lord's Resistance Army' War . If you ever want to watch a powerful movie... that exposes you to some of the brutality that is going on - this is a good one. It also shows how we're not meant to just sit on our but and indulge in luxury - but make change. It may be controversial in how he does it (ie. shooting) but for me - he's saving children's lives!

Too many goodbye’s…. and I’m exhausted!

A farewell from Team GA - gonna miss you guys!

I had my farewell this weekend, w close friends coming to chat, eat brownies ‘n choc-caramel slice, and avoid getting drenched by the rain. It made me realise how much I’m going to miss home, especially the thought of never returning to cozy lil’ Canberra (my life for the last 23 yrs). 

I also have had farewell from my GA Soccer squad and we had team photos and they gave me a signed soccer ball. I feel famous! I’m going to miss my work – especially the people! I’ve had fun with the social club shenanigans… not to mention the many chats at the café that has allured me to into a strict coffee addiction.

Tomorrow is my last day, and I’m having another farewell morning tea – if I can bear it, and then farewell from church on Sunday… and then I should be right to have said goodbye to most people here… epic?!

A week to go and fly out of here…

Thanks for all your kind encouragement and support! I really could not have made this decision without you. You are all more than welcome to visit me along my travels!

Love you Aussies!!! Keep in touch!!

packing up...

I had a crazy night last night. I have to pack up my room to move into a smaller room in my house. I told them I was ‘moving out’ in December so technically I still have to move out of my room so my other housemate can move in and get settled.

So, I just sold my desks and gave away my bed and bookshelves. And all of a sudden, as I packed my books in boxes – the realisation hit – I’m leaving and when I come back I may have nothing and be dirt poor. Travelling is not cheap.

So while I’m having a sook about losing my possessions… the words of Jesus entered my head “If you wish to be complete, go and sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me."

It shook me. As I desire to help the poor to help those suffering from injustice. And yet, I had got caught up in trying to hold onto things and have a ‘safety net’ to fall back on. I don’t want to live in comfort or have a safety net – but trust God that he will provide for all my needs. This is really hard!

I realised as well, I’ll be coming back to Australia after spending 3 months in India – and my mindset will *hopefully* be completely different anyway – so to come back to ‘wealth’ is going to be a massive shock to the system anyway.

It is still very overwhelming. I’m starting to make decisions on my own for what to do in the future, and the possibility of me slipping up seems quite high!

I admire my friend Sam – who packed up her things and left for England – found a job and is quite content with no massive worries. I need to just trust God and hope for the best.

I’m going to miss my friends – so I hope you keep in contact and remember to write letters or emails! I think the lack of ‘constant flow’ of friends visiting and going out is going to be weird. Hopefully – I’ll make some new ones in the US and India….

Unsettling.

Mexmas Party

Today - I'm celebrating xmas Mexican style! We have enchiladas, guacamole, mexican choc flan w mango, bunuelos (mexican doughnuts).... with margaritas and more! what more could you wish for?


So Feliz Navidad!


Merry Christmas everyone :) 

i've had quite a few friends ask for an update on my blog & considering i've had no internet... well kind of makes things hard. 

but, for now... i've stolen my house-mates net for a while - so quick update! 

i've decided to fly away....

i've been feeling a little 'unsettled'. despite the fact i'm 'settled' quite comfortably in an amazing house with 4 girls who are also amazing. i've got a really good job, which pays well & allows me to buy lots of ingredients to make new dishes. i've been enjoying making new recipes, baking, learning to drum, playing soccer (as always), laughing, getting into new music... and well being quite comfortable. 

but for some reason... this just isn't enough for me. i don't really want to get 'comfortable'. i want to explore the world, challenge myself, live out-of-my-comfort-zone. 

So next year... sometime in march/april? Who knows my plans seem to change as the sun sets and rises. but i'm off to see my family in the US. get to know them. get to know my history. see america as an adult. work. get tips from my aussie accent. travel and hope that friends like you... come visit. and then... india..

the song i've been listening to A LOT!

idiot.

sometimes i really wish i would actually bite my tongue. today is that day.

books and revelation

don't you love it when you pick up a book/books and it just hits exactly what you're going through. well thats been for me this week. i've been having a rough few days and so picked up a book to read called "a daughters dream" and another book which i can't remember the name and both have helped to a degree. 


one is about a girl who is lost in the world - which is kind of where i'm at at the moment. trying to find my place here. i sat in a seminar with a bunch of graduates spouting off their achievements and their successes and how they were there because it was something they were passionate about. do i dare to dream and hope one day i too will get my dream job. i wish i had a simple "doctor"/"teacher" kind of degree... but instead i do one that involves competing against the masses, little money, and a lot of volunteering. for me who hates making decisions and generally likes to stick to something once she's there... this is making the whole applying thing a little difficult. 


the other book talked about how we find it hard to love others, when we can't love ourselves. but seriously... how do you love yourself without being egotistical or arrogant? i know i hit myself pretty hard sometimes, but to be honest i deserve it. i have stuffed up in many decisions but i'm the only one to blame. i hate the fact i've lashed out at others for the sole reasson that  i've been angry at myself and needed an outlet. 


anyway... the books have been good. made me get into action in some areas of my life. 

Letters...

getting back into letter writing. i love pen pals :) my cousin even gave me some of her BATMAN stationary.

i went looking for stationary in the shops yesterday and i was disappointed to find a lack there of!

therefore, a day is planned of craft making. envelopes made out of paper bags and letters with magazine cut outs....

just a little excited :)

stepping stones

ive tried to write here many times, yet with no inspiration. but todays different. im looking out my window at the misty hills w red & white flowers cluttering the trees. im listening to progressive african music & drinking my tea with a book on overseas missions next to me - and then i begin to write...

my minds been tossing & turning the last few weeks and ive once again begun to declutter my life - getting rid of clothes and dropping them off at op shops to discover new clothes i need for only $5 - $10 each. i love the feeling of helping others, recycling and a really good bargain, which all comes in the one purchase! definitely trumps walking 'round shopping malls with claustrophobic consumerism filling the air. i get so drained when shopping at malls. instead i love the little alternative home grown shops that prop up around the place on sidewalks. here you can go and talk to the owners, hear there story, and then step out into fresh crisp air. i dare say i am romanticizing this (a little bit) but it beats white tiled floors, rude people, and same-old skanky clothing. i am going on another shop today this time with my beautiful friend fiona. hopefully we can have some fun and get a bargain!


alongside decluttering of clothing, i'm trying to declutter my mind. this takes much more energy as i find the same old negative thoughts seem to prop into my head daily or even past memories i care to forget. i have a habit of smashing myself and others about how crap we live out our lives. this  has made me quite a negative and judgemental person - which i desperately want to change.


i love being around really positive people who change your perspective to look at life brighter despite the horror that eclipses the world every day. i went onto a website today which was meant to be a place to download some progressive african music (for free & legal yay) and there was an ad with a chick sitting there with big boobs and the slogan reading "russian girls love americans, she's sexy, funny, outgoing - want a perfect life with a perfect wife". REVOLTING! i cant deny my feeling of disgust at men who actually buy into these lies, but at the same time feeling sorry for them.  *perfect wife* you wish, *perfect life* even more of a fantasy. not to mention i bet the russian chick loaths the americans who do buy into this.


i have been reading "The Johns" by Victor Malerek - which I recommend everyone to read... and he speaks up about these girls. who sign up for a job in the thought that they are signing up for nannying or something of the kind - and then realised that they are victims of sex trafficking. so many people from eastern europe are being enslaved daily because men demand sex at there beck and call! it SICKENS me. http://news.change.org/stories/victor-malarek-blames-men-for-proliferation-of-sex-trade [an interview with Victor Malerek]

The only thing that gives me any hope is really that I believe in a God more powerful than the money hungry people who enslave them. Jesus can save these victims of abuse. But i often fail to pray for the hurting... and i have to remind myself to continue to see hope and trust that there is life outside of this world too. man i am getting morbid. but don't get me wrong i hope not just to pray for God to act, but to get alongside him and to act out and speak out for these girls who are often killed for refusing to obey the desires of a client. so if you don't know much about this... then get informed. it will shock and sadden you, but make you angry enough to move forward. i watched this video a friend showed me yesterday and it gives a message of hope - about those who experience and hear of people in harsh situations and are changed...

what a year...

This year has been quite exhausting. A whirlwind of emotions. I started off the year well with lots of fun activities like canoeing, wind surfing, surfing, camping, jumping off cliffs and rocks... probably one of my favourite summers. I made new friends and seemed to have perspective change a little throughout the year. 

In terms of uni, I didn't stop since my first break in march, as I did spring & summer courses overseas (which were amazing experiences)... but it didn't necessarily give me the motivation to continue to be 'academic' and also i didn't have as much time to see my friends. 

I'll be interesting to see what next year offers...